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What can I say? That’s how I like it. My babysitter, Patsy, was like that. A proper, nerdy, goody two shoes with a killer body. When I became a teenager, since we knew each other, I would hang around her and one day I put the moves on her. She kissed me back with enthusiasm but even trying to feel her boob was off limits. I knew she was horny and just as I was about to give up she explained her position. She was a devout Catholic and was saving herself for marriage. She would remain a virgin until her wedding night. However, her logic dictated that oral and anal didn’t really count. Intercourse was the sole determining factor of virginity. After that, oh boy, it was off to the races. Go to the movies? Blowjob in the car. Parents out of the house for a few hours? On all fours eager to take it in the ass. I almost cried when she got engaged. I continued my survey both marking the property and identify the trees I was contemplating taking out. I was near the chain-link fence that. In the movies and on TV, people shoot pistols and rifles indoors all the time and never mention the noise. I knew better. I pulled on a pair of cargo shorts, shoved a spare magazine into a back pocket and went downstairs to check things out. When I looked into the bathroom at the rear of the house, I could see light through the frosted window in the pool door leading to the patio. The security light was on. Shapes were moving outside the door and it sure as hell wasn’t a pack of raccoons. I left the inside lights off and crossed the family room into the kitchen. Next to the phone above the kitchen counter was a Bluetooth headset. I slipped it on and hit the speed dial button for 9-1-1. ‘9-1-1, what is your emergency?’ ‘Home invasion in progress at this address.’ I knew my address was showing on her Caller ID screen and didn’t waste time repeating it. ‘Are they in the house?’ ‘Not yet. They’re breaking in through the pool door in the back.’ As I knelt behind the door frame, I could.
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